Funny how life works sometimes. Behind the most colourful rose, hides the sharpest thorn. I let myself be fooled by what I considered a true friendship. I always tell myself that expectations lead to disappointments…and still, I am yet to learn to discern between the people that genuinely want to be a part of my life and those who are simply passing by.

I have lost two friends today. I was so caught up in this mirage of happy moments that I never anticipated the ticking bomb that was slowly brewing up behind my back. In hindsight, the red flags were always there. But the goodness in me chose to ignore them, because I thought I had attracted the kind of people I deserve…the kind that’s always there for you, willing to give and love unconditionally, and lend you a helping hand. I was wrong. Accepting this fact makes my heart ache.

We invest so much in the wrong people. Our emotions, our secrets and the time that we can’t take back. And when a day like today comes by, you can’t help but feel defeated and question your ability to build strong friendships, based on a foundation of trust, mutual support, caring and selfless love.

Today, life has taught me yet another lesson:

Surround yourself with positive vibrations and genuine friendships, because life is too short to invest in the wrong people and you deserve more. 

Thank you Universe for everything you give and take away from me. I trust that everything is going to be okay.

Connecting 101

This past weekend I went to a place called “The Rainbow Temple of Whatever”. I met heaps of different people, from enormously diverse walks of life. Travelers, locals, Australians, Germans, Venezuelans…But out of all these people, one person in particular stood out. Guy Feldmann. He came up with the idea of the Rainbow Temple:

“a place where like-minded souls can share with each other their dreams and aspirations…a place where we can collectively and individually grow to a greater understanding of life, and to celebrate the many, many gifts that life on Earth offers. A place devoted to the raising of consciousness so that we may evolve out of ignorance and ultimately move away from suffering to a greater enjoyment of life.”

In hindsight, it is truly unbelievable what I learned about myself and the place I occupy in this world in relation to others.

On one particular night, Guy was sitting across the table smoking a cigarette while I finished a drawing. Since arriving, I had tried to suppress my curiosity of discovering what, how, who or why had led this extraordinary character to build such a magical place. What he told me is a beautiful story of wonder, amusement, connecting, discovery, awakening and above all, adventure. It is a story that I don’t dare tell you, for it is his only. Suffice to say that it marked me, not only because of the story itself, but because of that personal moment Guy and I shared, sitting opposite each other surrounded by people enjoying the bonfire, some singing, others playing musical instruments and others partaking in a challenging game of chess. For the next two hours, Guy captivated my attention to a point where I could feel us connecting. His words were like music to my ears, and my emotions danced to the rhythm of their melody. The last day I went to his house to say goodbye and he read me a few poems he has kept, from a guy that ‘changed his life’. Ironically, Guy changes a lot of people’s lives too, including mine.

Guy inspired me to want to know the world. To travel to places without fear of becoming lost, because doing so could, in the end, mean finding yourself. One should never hold back on learning from people’s experiences to build your own enriching life. Something Guy said really stuck with me. He said that we are all connected; all originate from the same source. Today, I reflected upon this and thought that perhaps I liked Guy so much because in him, I saw a part of me that I would like to be. Could you imagine? That each of us is simply a reflection of one another and that whatever you are vibrating into the cosmos, can ultimately ‘infect’ someone else’s energy?

Viewing things from this new-found perspective has allowed me to reflect on the unforeseen circumstances that I have experienced in my life. What if, for some unconscious masochistic reason, I manifested experiences that at the time seemed unbearable, but that (and it seems so clearly now) I needed them to grow, to evolve as a conscious being.  And so slowly, we all attract into our lives exactly the experiences, people and situations that we need, because doing so might help us see ourselves mirrored in each other and slowly work towards improving ourselves. If so, I am grateful to the Universe and to myself for attracting the people and situations that ultimately led me to meet Guy.

Unveiling The Veil, What Skydiving Did For Me

Original Journal Entry: September 23, 2012.

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Today is Mum’s birthday. Yesterday I went skydiving. I had seen videos and pictures of people doing it, but I didn’t have a clue on what to expect. It has been by far the most exhilarating, thrilling, bravest, craziest, most amazing experience of my life. And it has changed something inside of me that I didn’t realise before:

We come to this world as star dust arranged into a magical being called “homo sapiens”. We have a large, beautiful brain capable of processing the most complex thought processes. We posses an amazing body, a beautiful mind and an elevated conscious. And, most importantly, we live in a beautiful world.

And yet, we strive to become obstacles to all the things we can enjoy in life. We are only here for a very limited time. Our ignorance and conformity prevents us from exploring our own boundaries and going past our limits — limits that we unconsciously impose on ourselves. Every day marks the beginning of a new era. Every minute, every second of our life, every now, we could be doing something different and fulfilling. Very few do.

Jumping out of a plane has opened my eyes to all sorts or realities and lies. The lies that society indoctrinates in us and the reality of life: it is meant to be lived, enjoyed and exploited. Set yourself life goals about love, careers, friendships, family and friends…but above all, about adventure. Because after all, life is just a very long adventure.

Don’t just think. Do. Time waits for no one. It is later than you think. 

How can you complain about the life you lead? Sometimes, I realise how focused people are about the little insignificances that make them “unhappy”. The world we live in us such a beautiful place. Why do we make the insurmountable (and unconscious) effort to not take notice? We are permanently binded to a void that can not be filled. How (or should I ask why) is everyone so oblivious to the fact that you have the power to change that? Our vision has been impaired by exterior factors that have shaped our lives, thoughts and self. Why do we allow this to happen? Why can’t we wake up to the realization that every situation, person and ‘obstacle’ we encounter is a gift sent to help us grow? It’s not about asking yourself “Why is life so unfair?” Why do these things happen to me?”. It’s about asking yourself “What can I do to change this?”

Sometimes, life throws curve balls that are meant to strike you out of the game. It’s up to us to determine how we will let them affect us. You might not have control over life, but you do have control over your attitude towards it. Will you strike yourself out, or will you make the effort to hit a home run?

Sweet Memories.

I moved to Australia a little over a month ago. When my landlady gave me the keys to my new place I spent days looking for the key chain that I had brought from home. I was sure I had brought it with me, and yet I looked everywhere and couldn’t found it. I gave it as a lost souvenir from a distant land, that’s now half the world away from me: Dominican Republic. A small island in the middle of the Caribbean, the place I call home.

Today, while picking my “improvised” clothes for the ABC party my room mates are throwing, I found it in my closet, safely put inside one of the pockets of my jewelry hanger. I smiled. Perhaps not only at the fact that like a flashback, a surge of memories came streaming into my mind’s eye, but also at the fact that the damn thing had always been right in front of me. “You little fucker”, I thought to myself.

I took it out and held it in my hands, staring at the simplicity of this object. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the little coffin that hung from it; a present from my once partner in crime, my dear Ms. Julie. She’s now married and living in Tampa. She gave me the coffin as a “hide-away spot”…to hide things that wouldn’t necessarily cause death, but sure as hell a lot of trouble.

The other object was a mini one-led flash light. I remember using this so many times before, while hiding in the car trying to light ourselves with something powerless and inconspicuous enough that it wouldn’t allow outsiders see what was happening inside.

The third object was a small solar powered rectangle with my name written on it. It was a present from someone very special, brought to DR from New York. Every time the sun’s rays shine upon it, my name blinks across the small rectangle, like the key chain is happy to call out my name.

None of this probably makes sense to you. I guess the point I’m trying to make is the following: Isn’t it amazing how something as simple as a once-thought-lost-and-then-found key chain, can bring back so many wonderful memories from wherever it is you call home?