Thoughts

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Funny how life works sometimes. Behind the most colourful rose, hides the sharpest thorn. I let myself be fooled by what I considered a true friendship. I always tell myself that expectations lead to disappointments…and still, I am yet to learn to discern between the people that genuinely want to be a part of my life and those who are simply passing by.

I have lost two friends today. I was so caught up in this mirage of happy moments that I never anticipated the ticking bomb that was slowly brewing up behind my back. In hindsight, the red flags were always there. But the goodness in me chose to ignore them, because I thought I had attracted the kind of people I deserve…the kind that’s always there for you, willing to give and love unconditionally, and lend you a helping hand. I was wrong. Accepting this fact makes my heart ache.

We invest so much in the wrong people. Our emotions, our secrets and the time that we can’t take back. And when a day like today comes by, you can’t help but feel defeated and question your ability to build strong friendships, based on a foundation of trust, mutual support, caring and selfless love.

Today, life has taught me yet another lesson:

Surround yourself with positive vibrations and genuine friendships, because life is too short to invest in the wrong people and you deserve more. 

Thank you Universe for everything you give and take away from me. I trust that everything is going to be okay.

Connecting 101

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This past weekend I went to a place called “The Rainbow Temple of Whatever”. I met heaps of different people, from enormously diverse walks of life. Travelers, locals, Australians, Germans, Venezuelans…But out of all these people, one person in particular stood out. Guy Feldmann. He came up with the idea of the Rainbow Temple:

“a place where like-minded souls can share with each other their dreams and aspirations…a place where we can collectively and individually grow to a greater understanding of life, and to celebrate the many, many gifts that life on Earth offers. A place devoted to the raising of consciousness so that we may evolve out of ignorance and ultimately move away from suffering to a greater enjoyment of life.”

In hindsight, it is truly unbelievable what I learned about myself and the place I occupy in this world in relation to others.

On one particular night, Guy was sitting across the table smoking a cigarette while I finished a drawing. Since arriving, I had tried to suppress my curiosity of discovering what, how, who or why had led this extraordinary character to build such a magical place. What he told me is a beautiful story of wonder, amusement, connecting, discovery, awakening and above all, adventure. It is a story that I don’t dare tell you, for it is his only. Suffice to say that it marked me, not only because of the story itself, but because of that personal moment Guy and I shared, sitting opposite each other surrounded by people enjoying the bonfire, some singing, others playing musical instruments and others partaking in a challenging game of chess. For the next two hours, Guy captivated my attention to a point where I could feel us connecting. His words were like music to my ears, and my emotions danced to the rhythm of their melody. The last day I went to his house to say goodbye and he read me a few poems he has kept, from a guy that ‘changed his life’. Ironically, Guy changes a lot of people’s lives too, including mine.

Guy inspired me to want to know the world. To travel to places without fear of becoming lost, because doing so could, in the end, mean finding yourself. One should never hold back on learning from people’s experiences to build your own enriching life. Something Guy said really stuck with me. He said that we are all connected; all originate from the same source. Today, I reflected upon this and thought that perhaps I liked Guy so much because in him, I saw a part of me that I would like to be. Could you imagine? That each of us is simply a reflection of one another and that whatever you are vibrating into the cosmos, can ultimately ‘infect’ someone else’s energy?

Viewing things from this new-found perspective has allowed me to reflect on the unforeseen circumstances that I have experienced in my life. What if, for some unconscious masochistic reason, I manifested experiences that at the time seemed unbearable, but that (and it seems so clearly now) I needed them to grow, to evolve as a conscious being.  And so slowly, we all attract into our lives exactly the experiences, people and situations that we need, because doing so might help us see ourselves mirrored in each other and slowly work towards improving ourselves. If so, I am grateful to the Universe and to myself for attracting the people and situations that ultimately led me to meet Guy.

Unveiling The Veil, What Skydiving Did For Me

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Original Journal Entry: September 23, 2012.

Image

Today is Mum’s birthday. Yesterday I went skydiving. I had seen videos and pictures of people doing it, but I didn’t have a clue on what to expect. It has been by far the most exhilarating, thrilling, bravest, craziest, most amazing experience of my life. And it has changed something inside of me that I didn’t realise before:

We come to this world as star dust arranged into a magical being called “homo sapiens”. We have a large, beautiful brain capable of processing the most complex thought processes. We posses an amazing body, a beautiful mind and an elevated conscious. And, most importantly, we live in a beautiful world.

And yet, we strive to become obstacles to all the things we can enjoy in life. We are only here for a very limited time. Our ignorance and conformity prevents us from exploring our own boundaries and going past our limits — limits that we unconsciously impose on ourselves. Every day marks the beginning of a new era. Every minute, every second of our life, every now, we could be doing something different and fulfilling. Very few do.

Jumping out of a plane has opened my eyes to all sorts or realities and lies. The lies that society indoctrinates in us and the reality of life: it is meant to be lived, enjoyed and exploited. Set yourself life goals about love, careers, friendships, family and friends…but above all, about adventure. Because after all, life is just a very long adventure.

Don’t just think. Do. Time waits for no one. It is later than you think. 

Sweet Memories.

/ xAngelinax / Leave a comment

I moved to Australia a little over a month ago. When my landlady gave me the keys to my new place I spent days looking for the key chain that I had brought from home. I was sure I had brought it with me, and yet I looked everywhere and couldn’t found it. I gave it as a lost souvenir from a distant land, that’s now half the world away from me: Dominican Republic. A small island in the middle of the Caribbean, the place I call home.

Today, while picking my “improvised” clothes for the ABC party my room mates are throwing, I found it in my closet, safely put inside one of the pockets of my jewelry hanger. I smiled. Perhaps not only at the fact that like a flashback, a surge of memories came streaming into my mind’s eye, but also at the fact that the damn thing had always been right in front of me. “You little fucker”, I thought to myself.

I took it out and held it in my hands, staring at the simplicity of this object. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at the little coffin that hung from it; a present from my once partner in crime, my dear Ms. Julie. She’s now married and living in Tampa. She gave me the coffin as a “hide-away spot”…to hide things that wouldn’t necessarily cause death, but sure as hell a lot of trouble.

The other object was a mini one-led flash light. I remember using this so many times before, while hiding in the car trying to light ourselves with something powerless and inconspicuous enough that it wouldn’t allow outsiders see what was happening inside.

The third object was a small solar powered rectangle with my name written on it. It was a present from someone very special, brought to DR from New York. Every time the sun’s rays shine upon it, my name blinks across the small rectangle, like the key chain is happy to call out my name.

None of this probably makes sense to you. I guess the point I’m trying to make is the following: Isn’t it amazing how something as simple as a once-thought-lost-and-then-found key chain, can bring back so many wonderful memories from wherever it is you call home?

My 2009

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This New Year I will most definitely be embarking on exciting, new experiences. But before I do, I think it’s important to look back on the year 2009 and reflect upon it and the things that I have accomplished; most importantly on the things that I have learned. I think my 2009 was one filled with surprises, let-downs, and experiences that changed the person who I thought I was into a better me. Looking back, I believe that I took advantage of the 365 days we call a year, perhaps not to their fullest potential, but 2009 has been the start of my very own inner-self progress. I want to share this with the world…

I must admit that I started my 2009 on the right foot. For the Día de la Altagracia weekend on January 21, my friend Anita and I, along with my brother and a big group of his friends went camping to the most beautiful beach in my country: Bahía de las Aguilas. It is one of those places where you fall in love all over again with a country like Dominican Republic. The beach is almost 8 miles long, pristine, crystal clear with frosted-white sand that disappears into a whisper. Never in my life have I laid eyes upon a similar scenery, where the blue sky blends perfectly with the ocean’s turquoise horizon. I couldn’t believe I was there, watching the sun set on the horizon and disconnected from the outer world.

During the nights, the stars that are supposed to be on the sky land on the sea, impersonated as bioluminescence plankton. Light rain pours during the wee hours after midnight, blessing the day before us and the ones ahead. When the night creeps in, the stars come out. And oh, do they come out. Again, it was nothing like I have ever experienced. The black sky was full of tiny holes that looked like fireflies, like the whole world had sewn itself into a black sequin dress. I lost myself staring at it, and millions or perhaps billions of stars stared back at me. For the first time in my life I felt like an ant must feel when traveling on forest floors. I was lost in paradise.

* * *

2009 was the year for me to take full advantage of my Scuba Diving lessons. I started Scuba class on December 2008, but didn’t get my certification until almost February of 2009. I also bought my old Nikon Coolpix a housing to take pictures with it underwater. I have been to Isla Catalina, Bayahibe, Bávaro, and to many different diving places at La Caleta Underwater National Park, and the best part is that my boyfriend is my Diving Buddy, so we go diving whenever we want to. I think Scuba diving has struck a note inside me that I will never stop exploring. After my certification, I also started an Eco-diver class with Reef Check, so I can help monitor coral’s health.

I think the most significant thing that happened to me in 2009 was the fact that I tuned into a part of me that I knew I had, but hadn’t really realized how passionate I am about it. I realized that what makes me happy is working for social causes, especially environmental ones. I was involved with alot of things this past year, including the 2008 and 2009 International Coastal Cleanup, volunteering for the Vida Azul foundation (broken leg and cast included!). In May, I was involved with the Los Haitises campaign, one which opposed the construction of  cement factoryin the National Park Los Haitises. This campaign proved successful: On November 26, 2009, representative of the United Nations in the Dominican Republic concluded that the construction of such factory was not viable for the environment. I also participated in the underwater cleanup projects for World Ocean’s day. I started the 350Dominicana initiative in the country, with the help of my good friend Carlos Rymer who I contacted to work together to introduce the 350.org campaign to the Dominican Republic. I worked alognside Oxfam International, managing their Latin American Blog for climate change and how it’s affecting my country. I organized two reforestation projects, attended press conferences, hosted discussions about climage change and the importance of preserving our environment. All in all, it was one great year of challenges and wonderful outcomes. I also graduated from college, although I might be leaving to Australia on July to start a second career on Environmental Management and Policy *insert excited giggle here*

Looking back at the pictures from my year 2009, I have come to realize how much I’ve grown internally. I have left behind that antagonistic teenager I used to be and have become someone more mature, responsible and above all: more consciously aware. All the travelling I’ve made has opened my eyes to alot of things. I remember back in August when I made the trip with CYEN and 350.org to the south region of my country thinking that advocating for the environment is exactly what I want to do. And even though I got into a terrible accident while doing the beach cleanup at Bahía de las Aguilas, it was still not enough to stop me. Yes, I did get run over by a speeding boat and had to get 18 stitches and a cast to patch up two broken metatarsals on my right foot, but the satisfaction that I got from going there and sharing that experience with people who had the same passion for the environment that I do was very enriching, to say the least. Visiting Haiti also made me acknowledege the fact of how lucky I am to have all the things I do. I remember seeing children who had nothing, and yet they still offered you a gentle, sincere smile. That trip with 350.org and CYEN was very exciting. We visited the Sand Dunes in Baní, stayed in Pedernales for the weekeng, crossed the border to Haiti and went to Bahía de las Aguilas. My accident prevented me from expanding the 350 campaign in the country, but our International Day of Climate Action Eco-Picnic event on October 24th still proved successful. And although COP15 was a complete and utter failure, I think that this new year is going to pave the road to accomplishing what we are all rooting for.

I know that I have omitted alot of things from my 2009 in this post, but I am hoping that the pictures speak for themselves. I look forward for my 2010, arms and mind wide open, smiling from ear to ear and above all, hopeful. =)